I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
