I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
