I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Never let your siblings swipe right.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
