shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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