if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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