I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
