So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
We have started to decorate penises.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize