no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
