Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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