so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
