Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
