i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
