if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
