I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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