The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
