I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
