so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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