Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
