sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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