she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
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I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
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Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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