I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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