I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
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His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
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Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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