is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
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