no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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