I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
