Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
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