I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
