Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
