Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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