We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
no you cant smoke seaweed
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
