Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You have to summon your inner elephant
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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