Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
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We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
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Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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