I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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