he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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