If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
