I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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