just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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