I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize