I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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