I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
