if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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