my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!