just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll