My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I deserve this hangover.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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