what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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