May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
