it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
You smell like a Billy Joel song
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
