is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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