My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
