I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
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