if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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