from now on my penis is your penis
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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