Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
So I just went to clothing optional bar
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
A+ Viking dick
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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