i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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