He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
