PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
that is very illegal...i love you.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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