hotel room ftw
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
She's the barista slut.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
