So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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