Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
