mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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