Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that