question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
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We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
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There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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