I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
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A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
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I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...