I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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