He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i want to fuck
it's pretty self explanatory
People with herpes should wear stickers.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs