i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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