I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize