wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
FUCK WHALES
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